Sometimes I'm overwhelmed, I don't know how to show you just how I feel.
I want to make tender passionate love to you.
On a beautiful four posted solid oak bed, with freshly laundered white linens.
In the middle of a meadow, with a river running through it.
Then write a soul wrenching ballad about the experience.
And play it on a mountain top, with full symphonic orchestral backing.
As I step out of my skin and blaze with pure light.
Then rain down like a monsoon that will cover the world.
There are not words, deeds, or any other expression to show you the strength and depth of my love, sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode because I can't release it.
But what can I do? I look at you with emotion brimming in my eyes, and you think I'm upset. Then I fall back on the three most over used words in the english language . . . I love you.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
To every girl
I found this on a friends Blog, it certainly applealed to me. I'd like to be the kind of guy that makes this girl happy.
To every girl that dresses cute, not skanky.
To every girl who wants to be called beautiful, not hot.
To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for you.
To every girl who gets her heart broken, because he chose that bitch instead
To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.
To every girl who would just once like to be treated like a princess.
To every girl that cries at night because of another heartbreak.
To every girl that won't get down on her knees and open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.
To every girl that just wants to hold hands.
To every girl that kisses him with meaning.
To every girl who just wishes he cared more.
To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.
To every girl who just wants him to call.
To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.
To every girl that just wants to cuddle.
To every girl that just wants to sleep with him without having sex.
To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again, because she has been HURT too many times or so badly.
To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.
To every girl that thought 'maybe this one could be the one'.
To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually doesn't think it is funny.
To every girl who is just looking for that one and only and is having a rough time along the way.
To every girl that has been cheated on, because she's not a slut who gives it up to any guy.
To every girl that doesn't want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.
To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.
To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.
To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.
To every girl that has faith that 'tomorrow will be a better day.'
It will be.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Photo Competition
 | I entered 16 photos in the 'Williston Hard Spring Wheat Show" last weekend. Don't ask me what hard spring wheat is, but I know my photos had nothing to do with it. That may be one reason none of my 'landscape' or 'buildings/ equipment' photos didn't get anywhere, I'll see if I can find out what did do well, and if I can do better next year :). My people photos did pretty well though, a second and a third. Not bad for my first ever photo competition. Never mind that one of the winning ones was thirteen years old. I wonder how my niece Hayley feels about me winning a competition with a nude photo of her, even if she was only about three at the time. I called the piece Folk and it is my step father Richard Harford and his grand daughter taking a moment together during a camping trip for the Auckland Folk Festival (Auckland, New Zealand) in 1993. I have this photo up around the house as it's so real, such an amazing portrayal of Richard, his personality and everything he means to his children and grand children. Shot in black and white and taken with a Sigma camera and Sigma 28-70mm lense. A photo of my step-daughter Ella took second place. Again this was shot in black and white with the Sigma, but the film was not true black and white and lacks some of the grainy depth that gives character to other black and white shots. I called it Chaste and it shows Ella fleeing from me across the virgin sand of Long Beach in Washington, USA on a windy day in May 2004. If I can just figure out how to post it, I'll put up a sidebar with a sample of the phots. |
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Massively Multiplayer On-line games
MMO, often with RPG (Role Play Game) tacked on the end. It's the new 'thing'. World of Warcraft and Lineage 2 have in the order of 8M subscribers between the two. This phenomenon is a major part of why the game industry now has a larger slice of the media market than even film.
Players purchase a game, then pay a monthly fee to play in a world that persists even when they are off-line, that is populated by thousands of other real players. Players sometimes in competition with each other, sometimes co-operating, and more often than not simply players co-existing. Much like real life, and yet, not. A place where the suspension of disbelief isn't that big a stretch, which means a greater sense of immersion.
It gives players a chance to act out their inner fantasies - what I could be if I wasn't held back by, time, money, physical constraints - or laws and morals. I posted a couple of links earlier for tests to determine what sort of player you might be in these worlds. Interesting results and no surprises for me.
For about 18 months I followed the development of Star Wars: Galaxies. I'm obviously a huge fan of Star Wars and computer games in general, and here was a game setting out to allow me to live, learn, explore and socialise within the Star Wars setting and timbering that hold so much mystique for me. I was incredibly excited.
Then I saw this video and my excitement level went through the roof - these guys were talking directly to me, everything I wanted was right there in the interview.
I pre-ordered the game and installed it on the day it was released, then I played it for about 2 and a half years.
A MMO because of the nature of it's 'persistent world' status needs to be constantly tweaked to ensure that the numbers that were worked out during development remain reasonable for the calculations as people, equipment and events progress. This is normal and necessary for the game. But somewhere along the way, developers changed and what got me so excited about that video slipped away. Instead of tweaking numbers up and down to maintain the balance of the game, they began making changes to the actual mechanics of the game.
The change entitled 'CU' or Combat Upgrade was harsh, it messed with a game that I and others had developed a sense of ownership for. The graphics and mechanic changes now seemed to target the audience who were currently making Blizzard lots of money for their World of Warcraft game, and not the player base who had supported Sony through development and a year or more of subscriptions.
Then a few months back came 'NGE' New Game Enhancements. Wow. It was a whole new game, built on the same world environment. Our characters were destroyed, the essential parts of the intellectual property that was a major part of their draw were devalued, and the whole game was 'dumbed down' to the point I was frustrated with the over simplicity, yet at the same time the twitch aspect of the game was ramped up. This now played like a First Person Shooter (Wolfenstien, Doom, Quake, Unreal, etc.) not an RPG at all.
When I was on the development boards way back, I recall picking three things out as key points to why this game was for me.
This meant that there were a number of skill 'trees' and you could pick and chose which trees and which branches you advanced down. You had the choice of going with purely combat skills, purely social skills, crafting or healing, or you could mix and match. Become a two master hybrid, or a jack of all trades. The choice was yours. Not only that, but you could let go of skills to free up available learning points to advance in a new area, at any time.
I was a Smuggler and a Combat Medic. That meant I was support crew for the true fighters, I knew my skill set really well, and I was very good at it.
With NGE you have to choose your 'class' when you create your character. That character will now advance through the levels of that class as you gain experience. Any level 45 smuggler will be IDENTICAL to any other level 45 smuggler, there is no variety, and no options. You can only be one thing.
Player driven economy
Crafting was a huge part of SW:G, and revolutionary in the MMO field. It is the benchmark against which future MMO's are measured on the crafting portion of there design. Craters make all the equipment needed in the game, from clothes and food, to weapons and space ships.
For all but the very best rewards for completing quests - player crafted gear was the best you could have. You could pick up items off corpses when you fought them, but they were invariable inferior. The best of the best player items required components that could be gained as loot of corpses, so tieing the loot in to the player economy too.
Since NGE and other alterations to the game, the best of the best equipment now drops ready made from NPC (non-player character, computer controlled) people and critters. This simply cuts the crafters out of the loop and undermines the economy and the promise that the game and it's player base were built around.
Star Wars
My biggest thing with regards to 'Star Wars' is Jedi. Jedi are essential to the Star Wars feel of any medium, but the proper control of Jedi is even more essential. When SW:G launched it was a long, harrowing, and largely unknown path to reach that exalted target. It was simplified a little as time progressed - possibly with CU, possibly just as a matter of course. The simplification meant that now people knew the steps required to reach Jedi, that it was a big task, but far from impossible. It also meant dragging all the prospective Jedi to the one place where the process occurred and making Jedi 'familiar'. Familiarity breeds contempt.
Despite the difficulty involved with achieving the Jedi status, Jedi were not as powerful as I felt they should be. Now we get past my feeling of ownership for the game, and into my ownership of Star Wars. The mythos, the sacredness, tradition and history of Star Wars - you can't mess with Star Wars!!
With NGE, Jedi are now a starting option, players may choose to be a Jedi the moment they create their account. Half the population are running around in Jedi pajamas and Star Wars is dead. At the point in the Star Wars timeline where the game is supposed to be set, there are three known Jedi: Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader. Darth Vader had been corrupted by the Sith lord Darth Sidious - Emperor Palpatine - and sent on a pogrom to destroy all Jedi. Which he had pretty much succeeded in doing. Sure, there is space in the story for the game to allow some Jedi to exist, in hiding. But not for me to drop into the star port at Bestine, Tatooine, and see 50 Jedi waving their light sabers around. Vader and 5 divisions of ST would descent on them and crush them.
Anyway, all this rant came about because I found that video again and was reminded how much I loved the game they're talking about.
Watch the video :) http://media2.yahoo.com/player/games/?k=/genre/roleplaying/starwarsgalaxiesaned/6023592
Players purchase a game, then pay a monthly fee to play in a world that persists even when they are off-line, that is populated by thousands of other real players. Players sometimes in competition with each other, sometimes co-operating, and more often than not simply players co-existing. Much like real life, and yet, not. A place where the suspension of disbelief isn't that big a stretch, which means a greater sense of immersion.
It gives players a chance to act out their inner fantasies - what I could be if I wasn't held back by, time, money, physical constraints - or laws and morals. I posted a couple of links earlier for tests to determine what sort of player you might be in these worlds. Interesting results and no surprises for me.
For about 18 months I followed the development of Star Wars: Galaxies. I'm obviously a huge fan of Star Wars and computer games in general, and here was a game setting out to allow me to live, learn, explore and socialise within the Star Wars setting and timbering that hold so much mystique for me. I was incredibly excited.
Then I saw this video and my excitement level went through the roof - these guys were talking directly to me, everything I wanted was right there in the interview.
I pre-ordered the game and installed it on the day it was released, then I played it for about 2 and a half years.
A MMO because of the nature of it's 'persistent world' status needs to be constantly tweaked to ensure that the numbers that were worked out during development remain reasonable for the calculations as people, equipment and events progress. This is normal and necessary for the game. But somewhere along the way, developers changed and what got me so excited about that video slipped away. Instead of tweaking numbers up and down to maintain the balance of the game, they began making changes to the actual mechanics of the game.
The change entitled 'CU' or Combat Upgrade was harsh, it messed with a game that I and others had developed a sense of ownership for. The graphics and mechanic changes now seemed to target the audience who were currently making Blizzard lots of money for their World of Warcraft game, and not the player base who had supported Sony through development and a year or more of subscriptions.
Then a few months back came 'NGE' New Game Enhancements. Wow. It was a whole new game, built on the same world environment. Our characters were destroyed, the essential parts of the intellectual property that was a major part of their draw were devalued, and the whole game was 'dumbed down' to the point I was frustrated with the over simplicity, yet at the same time the twitch aspect of the game was ramped up. This now played like a First Person Shooter (Wolfenstien, Doom, Quake, Unreal, etc.) not an RPG at all.
When I was on the development boards way back, I recall picking three things out as key points to why this game was for me.
- Skill based advancement
- Player driven economy
- Star Wars
This meant that there were a number of skill 'trees' and you could pick and chose which trees and which branches you advanced down. You had the choice of going with purely combat skills, purely social skills, crafting or healing, or you could mix and match. Become a two master hybrid, or a jack of all trades. The choice was yours. Not only that, but you could let go of skills to free up available learning points to advance in a new area, at any time.
I was a Smuggler and a Combat Medic. That meant I was support crew for the true fighters, I knew my skill set really well, and I was very good at it.
With NGE you have to choose your 'class' when you create your character. That character will now advance through the levels of that class as you gain experience. Any level 45 smuggler will be IDENTICAL to any other level 45 smuggler, there is no variety, and no options. You can only be one thing.
Player driven economy
Crafting was a huge part of SW:G, and revolutionary in the MMO field. It is the benchmark against which future MMO's are measured on the crafting portion of there design. Craters make all the equipment needed in the game, from clothes and food, to weapons and space ships.
For all but the very best rewards for completing quests - player crafted gear was the best you could have. You could pick up items off corpses when you fought them, but they were invariable inferior. The best of the best player items required components that could be gained as loot of corpses, so tieing the loot in to the player economy too.
Since NGE and other alterations to the game, the best of the best equipment now drops ready made from NPC (non-player character, computer controlled) people and critters. This simply cuts the crafters out of the loop and undermines the economy and the promise that the game and it's player base were built around.
Star Wars
My biggest thing with regards to 'Star Wars' is Jedi. Jedi are essential to the Star Wars feel of any medium, but the proper control of Jedi is even more essential. When SW:G launched it was a long, harrowing, and largely unknown path to reach that exalted target. It was simplified a little as time progressed - possibly with CU, possibly just as a matter of course. The simplification meant that now people knew the steps required to reach Jedi, that it was a big task, but far from impossible. It also meant dragging all the prospective Jedi to the one place where the process occurred and making Jedi 'familiar'. Familiarity breeds contempt.
Despite the difficulty involved with achieving the Jedi status, Jedi were not as powerful as I felt they should be. Now we get past my feeling of ownership for the game, and into my ownership of Star Wars. The mythos, the sacredness, tradition and history of Star Wars - you can't mess with Star Wars!!
With NGE, Jedi are now a starting option, players may choose to be a Jedi the moment they create their account. Half the population are running around in Jedi pajamas and Star Wars is dead. At the point in the Star Wars timeline where the game is supposed to be set, there are three known Jedi: Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader. Darth Vader had been corrupted by the Sith lord Darth Sidious - Emperor Palpatine - and sent on a pogrom to destroy all Jedi. Which he had pretty much succeeded in doing. Sure, there is space in the story for the game to allow some Jedi to exist, in hiding. But not for me to drop into the star port at Bestine, Tatooine, and see 50 Jedi waving their light sabers around. Vader and 5 divisions of ST would descent on them and crush them.
Anyway, all this rant came about because I found that video again and was reminded how much I loved the game they're talking about.
Watch the video :) http://media2.yahoo.com/player/games/?k=/genre/roleplaying/starwarsgalaxiesaned/6023592
Monday, January 16, 2006
The Daedalus Project: Take the Motivations Assessment
The Daedalus Project: Take the Motivations Assessment
http://www.andreasen.org/bartle/test.cgi
Two tests to determine the style of player you are when it comes to Masively Multiplayer Online Games. Essential determinant when considering the design of a persistent virtual world.
Deadalus Project
Achievement 32% Socialising 75% Immersion 96%
Bartle Test
http://www.andreasen.org/bartle/test.cgi
Two tests to determine the style of player you are when it comes to Masively Multiplayer Online Games. Essential determinant when considering the design of a persistent virtual world.
Deadalus Project
- Advancement 24%
- Mechanics 64%
- Competition 24%
- Chat 80%
- Relate 79%
- Teamwork 40%
- Discovery 92%
- Roleplay 91%
- Customisation 68%
- Escapism 92%
Bartle Test
Explorer 86%
Socializer 60%
Achiever 40%
Killer 13%
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